Friday, March 31, 2006

John Belushi's Love Child?!?!

Most of you know the late Comedian John Belushi but what is unknown is the fact that he may indeed have a son and I am on a mission to find out. My story begins in 1976. My mother, an avid traveler, would visit this fine city quite frequently. Whenever she was in town she would make it a point to see SNL live. She was a big comedy fan and this was her favorite show. Every now and again she would regail us with tales from her nights in the clubs and bars around town and tell us stories of some of the famous actors she would meet. In particular she told us how she met many of the cast members from SNL at the Odeon Bar in New york and how she would party till the wee hours of the morning, many times with her favorite(you guessed it)John Belushi. This went on until 1978, which coincedently is the year my brother was born. Of course at this time I was a small child and knew none of this but as we grew up I began to notice more and more of the differences between us. Not only did we look different but we barely favored each other and the un-similarities did not end there but even our mannerisms were totally different. While in high school his nickname was Belush and I never understood why my mother thought this was so cute. I mean, your nicknamed after a guy who died of a drug overdose. But still, I never suspected anything was amiss until after our mother passed away a few years ago. While going through her things I came accross a letter. A letter from my mother to Mr. Belushi. A very personal letter which I cannot post here for obvious legal and family reasons but lets just say all the pieces of this mystery finally came together. When I confronted my brother about this he thought it was all a big joke and as much as I tried to convince him, he just wouldnt believe it. I finally have him talked into DNA testing but he says he wont pay a penny for it and that if I believe its true then I should pay for it. I can imagine its painful to find out that your dad really isnt your dad but hey, at least it might be John Belushi. How cool is that. The only son of a Comic Legend and your uncle is Jim Belushi. Look at the pictures below, I think they speak for themselves, but you be the judge.

The shocking similarities between these two men is just uncanny and we understand if this is too much for some to handle. However, we are asking for full cooperation on the part of anyone with any information that can help this search. A DNA test is still dependant upon whether or not my the family of Mr. Belushi will submit to the testing. Please help my brother find his real father. Our family is all but assured, but my brother is still scared to let go of the idea that his father is who he thinks he is. We know that the transition for him will be tough, but the sooner we can confirm it, the sooner he will recover. Stay tuned for updates and let us know if there is anything you can do to help.

View Shocking Details of another knarly tale right here: http://bigfootfoundgoesongayrampage.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Nutbags from the Corner

When you look at the corner of 91st and 1st Ave in the Upper East side of Manhattan there are a few things you might notice. First things first...There is always a Pidgeon slayer lurking in the shadows of the emmense scafolding that covers the side of old P.S. 555. After the sun goes down it is extremely scary to see this warrior staking out his prey. His weapon...A bamboo shoot stuffed with formaldehyde soaked darts. Those of you who know about formaldehyde are asking, "why would this pidgeon slayer lace darts with emabalming fluid?" To this I respond, "Good Question!".
A few theories are often floated around coffee shops and pizza holes throughout the neighborhood. The most common of course is that in his intricate plot of debachery, he embalms the poor pidgeons before actually slaying them in order to keep their blood kryogenically frozen in the event of a world ending apocolypse. Personally, I do not subscribe to this theory.
I have personally witnessed this mans utter intolerance for the life pidgeons. While eating a cheese and celery sandwich on my 8th floor balcony, I was able to catch a glimpse of the man-in-war setting booby-traps and dressing in drag while lighting fires to random garbage cans. It was quite a site. But this man is still on the loose, so if you see him, contact the heirs-of-ayers foundation for addtional assistance.