Nutbags from the Corner

When you look at the corner of 91st and 1st Ave in the Upper East side of Manhattan there are a few things you might notice. First things first...There is always a Pidgeon slayer lurking in the shadows of the emmense scafolding that covers the side of old P.S. 555. After the sun goes down it is extremely scary to see this warrior staking out his prey. His weapon...A bamboo shoot stuffed with formaldehyde soaked darts. Those of you who know about formaldehyde are asking, "why would this pidgeon slayer lace darts with emabalming fluid?" To this I respond, "Good Question!".
A few theories are often floated around coffee shops and pizza holes throughout the neighborhood. The most common of course is that in his intricate plot of debachery, he embalms the poor pidgeons before actually slaying them in order to keep their blood kryogenically frozen in the event of a world ending apocolypse. Personally, I do not subscribe to this theory.
I have personally witnessed this mans utter intolerance for the life pidgeons. While eating a cheese and celery sandwich on my 8th floor balcony, I was able to catch a glimpse of the man-in-war setting booby-traps and dressing in drag while lighting fires to random garbage cans. It was quite a site. But this man is still on the loose, so if you see him, contact the heirs-of-ayers foundation for addtional assistance.